East Vs West: Special Edition Battle

(WARNING: This is all Keyfabe, a wrestling term being under the storyline. If you take any of this seriously, please place your dominate hand behind your head, your other hand under the desk, and proceed to slam your head to it)

A special edition of East Vs West, which has absolutely nothing to do with Japan or any place across the ocean. Though considering that these two possibly live on opposite ends of America (not 100% sure), it can still be considered an East Vs West kind of battle. And since they will be fighting each other soon, what better way then to display the stats before seeing their fight…

The Angry Videogame Nerd Vs The Nostalgia Critic

The AVGN, created and acted out by James D. Rolfe, is a guy who reviews videogames. But not just any kind of videogames, he reviews very bad games from the eras of the Playstation and below, but primarily the 8-Bit and 16-Bit generations. And to think, this started out as being a joke for his friends.

After a suggestion to put his first review online, it grew to popularity and gave him the idea to make a sequel. Since then, the AVGN became one of the big draws of CineMassacre, Screwattack, and Gametrailers. The success of the Series saw T-Shirts, DVDs, a theme song, and even a crossover with Captain S.

Doug Walker is the Nostalgia Critic, who remembers it so we don’t have to. Like the AVGN, he reviews our past and shows us they weren’t as entertaining as we originally thought. Unlike the Nerd, NC focuses on the movies we grew up on.

The Nostalgia Critic is part of That Guy with the Glasses dot com, which features other skits like 5 Second Movies, the Bum Reviews, and GNN, with a good portion of them acted out by Doug Walker as well. With only the idea of reviewing the past that is similar to each other, you wouldn’t expect these two having a feud about anything. But thank goodness for fan boys who dislike any other series for having one similarity to another, because it gave them an idea.

It started pretty much one sided, with the NC doing most of the work and AVGN not really taking part of it, but once the AVGN made the reply, the feud was on fire! This led to their first confrontation in the Digital Press Video Games store in Clifton, New Jersey, where they (along with Capt. S) battled to a standstill. This led to the Reviewing challenge, where both would have to do the other’s job for one review.

Each one did their review (AVGN did for Ricky 1, a parody of Rocky/NC did for Bebe’s Kids for the SNES) and it seems as if it was over. But one video told us that the Final Showdown between these two will commence in October of 2008. Who will win between these titans of our past? Well, I don’t know, but let’s see if this scorecard can help…

Round One: Location

It has been decided by the Critic that the battle will take place at the Nerd’s home (I bet he’ll regret running all the way there), so this will definitely be to the Nerd’s advantage. He knows the location for the best weapons and he may even lay traps for the Critic when he arrives. So this round will have to go to the Nerd.

WINNER: The Angry Videogame Nerd

Round Two: Battle Experiences

The Nerd has many victories under his belt, defeating the likes of Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers, and Bugs Bunny. Though it wonders why he wasn’t participating when he saved Christmas with Capt. S. The Critic, on the other hand, was more self abusive after seeing TMNT 3. As for being in fights, his only noticeable one was against a random guy using the techniques from Karate Kid. It didn’t go over so well.

Their standstill in their first encounter does show that the Critic has fighting experienced to match, but this Round goes to the Nerd for his various opponents.

WINNER: The Angry Videogame Nerd

Round Three: Quick to Anger…

You would think this would go to the Nerd since Angry is in his name, but compared to the Critic, he controls it easily. During his review of Bebe’s Kids, the Critic was a few moments away from destroying the game, and he wasn’t even half way through with the review… And when it was done, he went all out while the Nerd just gets satisfied blowing it up once. So when it’s time to see Red, I got to hand this to the Critic.

WINNER: The Nostalgia Critic

Round Four: Tolerance to Pain

The self abusing aside, these two review awful Medias that should be motivation enough to establish the Death Penalty just to ensure these don’t ever get made again. Though this round has to go to the Critic, since the Nerd not only has yet to review ET for the Atari (a game so bad, it brought down the gaming industry until an Italian Plumber resuscitated it) he also let the fans review Deadly Towers for him (which must have been so bad he couldn’t put words to it).

The Critic showed us his toughness by reviewing Batman and Robin, a movie so terrible that eight years have to be passed in order to make another Batman movie. Granted, he did try to kill himself in the beginning and went crazy during the middle of it; at least he was still standing when the video was over. Even gave us a musical number.

Oh yeah, and he survived a gunshot to the head.

WINNER: The Nostalgia Critic

Round Five: Weapons

The Critic has a gun. That’s it. The Nerd has an assortment of Videogame Accessories which would normally be powerless outside games. But the Nerd’s weapons seem to work marvelous outside the game’s use. A Zapper that blew Jason’s head off, a Power Glove that knocked Freddy out of his dream, and others that combined with Super Mecha Death Christ 2000 BC 4.0 Beta took down a Super Mario Brothers 3 Game that was possessed by the Devil.

The Critic needs a BMFG to compete with that…

WINNER: The Angry Videogame Nerd

Round Six: Allies

These Guest Stars came to help the Nerd out, so it’s safe to say he can call these guys for help if the time is needed. These allies are Shitpickle, a pickle with an unknown source of feces on his head, Kyle Justin, the singer of his theme song who happens to live behind his couch, Super Mecha Death Christ 2000 BC 4.0 Beta, and Spiderman.

The Critic works alone. He does have friends, but I doubt they could match up to Nerd’s allies.

WINNER: The Angry Videogame Nerd

Round Seven: Ease of Control

Despite having victories over Freddy and Jason, the Nerd can easily be captured and forced to do something. Jason forced him to play his game. Freddy invaded his dream and forced him to play his game. Leatherface and his brother forced him and he barely escaped. Even the Campy Joker captured him to do so.

The Critic was never captured, and even escaped a mental institute warden he hired to prevent him from killing himself. So this round is the NC’s.

WINNER: The Nostalgia Critic

Round Eight: Inspiration to Others

There have been many fakers to the Nerd’s crown, never as funny as him. One such example, if you take anything the Internet say seriously, is the Irate Gamer, who not only (once again, as others said) plagiarize his work but also gets paid by Youtube to do so. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but in this case, it’s not really worth it.

As for the Critic, when he had a contest to have the Nostalgia Chick, he had many contest entries trying their best to win. In fact, he picked three girls since each of them have a similar style to him but really made it their own.

WINNER: The Nostalgia Critic

Round Nine: Weaknesses

The Critic’s one weakness seems to be Sesame Street as he has an emotional breakdown trying to give the movie “Follow that Bird” a bad review. (In fact, he made the Bum Reviewer do the job) Then again, I doubt that’s a real factor for this fight.

The Nerd’s weakness is the lacking of a lock. It’s the only explanation I can think of for all of his visitors during his reviews. No alarms, no sound of anything breaking, no nothing. Heck, it’s probably safe to assume anyone can enter his house. Then again, the Nerd is expecting the Critic so this won’t be a real factor…

WINNER: Draw

OVERAL: AVGN: 4 – NC: 4

It’s a pretty even match. You can’t decide an outcome like this on stats alone. They each provide something different to counteract the other. But that’s where the story takes place…

Round Ten: The Story

This is something I can’t do. They are mere days away from having their final confrontation. That is where you’ll see how it is settled…

WINNER: Find out when they have their Final Battle!

And there you have it, a little look between these two fierce rivals. These guys take you back to the past so we don’t have to. But only they can settle who’ll win. Either way, I can’t wait to see the event unfold!

Like the outcome? Want to give your opinion of the events? Want to make suggestions? Then give a reply. The next one will be, well, whatever I feel like.